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Whenever people face obstacles what do you think are their first thoughts that come to their minds?

1. There are just too many problems down here, can someone do something about it?

2. Not this again, its the 4th time that I had to deal with it

3. I don’t like this at all, how I wish that it will all go away.

When faced with multitudes of problems, do we just shrug and give up? Or are we going to do something about it? How many of us actually have colleagues who keep talking about problems more than solutions? Even if we help them come up with solutions, how do we actually help them to be more independent in solving their own problems. I mean, if they were the ones who come up with their own solutions, they are more likely to act on it and solve it. The question is “how do we make them more solution focused?” Better yet, is there a fast way to do it?

It is not as tough as it seems but allow me to share with you more about how to do it.

Let me introduce you to a technique that I have found useful in my work with people. It is called Solution Focused Brief Coaching (SFBC).

Solution Focused Brief Coaching is essentially a technique of coaching that is brief (taking only about 40mins or less and can be as short as 15 mins for Speed Coaching depending on client’s motivation compared to 1hr of coaching) and focuses on helping the client be more solution focused. I use the word “client” because the official counseling term for it means a person is under our protection. Therefore a client could be your colleague in the workplace, your teenager at home, your spouse and so on. SFBC does not focus the problems in detail but helps the client to be more solution focused by asking a set of questions that help them look for solutions.

Here are some core focuses of SFBC:

1. Focus on the strengths, not weaknesses.

2. Focus on solutions, rather than problems.

3. Focus on competencies, rather than inadequacies.

4. Focus on “What can” rather than “What can’t” be done.

Why not focus on the problem in detail?

If we were to dwell too long in the problem stage, the client might get more and more depressed about a situation. This creates an unresourceful state that does not help in solving problems. There are many times when I have listened to people talk about their problems, and the problems all the sudden get bigger and bigger. It then becomes so big that some people just resign to their ‘fate’ and accept the problems to be part of their lives. Some people even moved on to complain about other problems related to the first incident and it snowballs in a downward spiral. In addition, talking about the problem too long will not help a person to ‘snap’ out of their depression, it just encourages them to stay focused as victims of society.

By helping a client be solution focused, we move them in a more resourceful state of thinking. They are able to explore opportunities or strategies that they might had used before to get results for themselves. The coaching process is also shorter because the ranting of problems is significantly reduced. In addition, the client’s confidence in solving a situation improves because they realise that they have more choices available to them. Lastly, they feel better themselves to be able to think of solutions to their problems, rather than allow others to suggest it for them. They will feel that they own the problem.

Here are some examples of questions that we can use to help a person to be more solution focused (this list below is not exhaustive):

1. What needs to happen today to make you feel that this coaching session is worthwhile?

2. What are the benefits of it?

3. What motivates you to do it?

4. What will people say when you do it?

5. How is that important to you?

6. Who encourages you the most during this process?

7. How do you think you can surround yourself with these people?

8. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being _____ and 10 being _______, where are you?

9. How can you move to the next level?

10. What can you do right now after this session?

When such questions are asked, the usual response is that the client usually finds the solutions for themselves and have a more actionable plan after the coaching. In most cases I have observed in one to one sharing, there is no clear follow up on what can be done and it renders the sharing time to be unproductive. I know that sometimes sharing something without a specific end in mind might be therapeutic to some, but if we really want to solve problems, we need to solution focused, or else we will revisit this problem again in the near future. By using the solution focused questions above, many clients of mine (some of them are also personal friends) have commented that they are able to come to solutions quickly and are excited to try them out.

Here are some problem talk questions that you should avoid:

1. What’s wrong with what you are doing?

2. What makes it hard?

3. How come you can’t seem to improve?

4. What do you dislike about it?

5. Who are the people who are not supportive of your goals?

6. What is your main cause of difficulty?

7. What makes you stuck?

The next time you speak to a person, are you asking the right questions to move a person from being focused on problems to more solution focused? I hope you will be more aware that the quality of your questions will determine the quality of response from your client. Do help them to be more solution focused in solving their own issues.

We do offer solution focused brief coaching workshops for participants and have run programs for school teachers, corporate executives, managers and leaders. If you wish to find out more about such workshops, do contact us.

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Motivating yourself is often times the most difficult aspect of personal development. The concept of personal development is to improve the overall well being, attitude and actions of a person. In doing so, you will run into many obstacles and how they are met is dependent upon you. I have made many mistakes by constantly thinking that other people can motivate me, but in essence, only I can motivate myself. Others can only create an environment for me to motivate myself!

What happens when you jump start yourself with a little motivation and then start to plateau? From there, you do not feel like you are getting anywhere, and then you start to slip. Keeping yourself motivated is a hard task, but can definitely be done.

Outlined below are some ways you can coach yourself into success.

1. Goal setting

The first and most important aspect of personal development. This is where it all starts. Without a goal, you have no direction. Without a direction, you have no purpose. Lay out your goals clearly and with detail. Once you have a goal with defined values, you will know when you achieve them. Seeing success is the best motivator around. When I set one of my goals to create my own training video this year, I finally achieved it in March! It is indeed every trainer’s dream to have their own training video! This would not have happened if I did not write down my goals and review them almost every night!

2. Write it out, Draw up a plan!

Do something! You have to make your goals and aspirations visible to you. You need to make sure you have our goals on your mind every day. Each day is a different set of goals looking to achieve a bigger goal. If you want to take a cruise to the Bahamas, but do not have that extra cash right this minute, work to get there. Put a picture of a beautiful beach on your nightstand so you see it every time you wake up in the morning and every time you go to bed. Plan out how you are going to get there and follow it.

3. Take Action!

There is no sense of making goals if you are not going to do anything about them. Take action on your checklist! Make it a goal to get a certain amount of tasks done every day that is out of your normal daily schedule. Shift it around, make it more exciting; enjoy meeting goals and then celebrate when you achieve them. If you have to, make them smaller so you can reach them easier and then graduate to larger goals. This works for me and gives me confidence when I constantly achieve smaller goals.

4. Surround yourself with the right people

Being around people that are supportive and positive can really make or break success in personal development. You need to make sure you have people around you that want to see you succeed. They will be there for you and offer positive words of encouragement. They are also the people that are around when you celebrate success. Anyone who offers negativity has no place in your personal development goals.

With all these tips in mind, stay focused and positive. There will be roadblocks in the way; there always are. Keep track of your past achieved goals and review them when you doubt yourself. Stay Driven!

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